This is a pattern of interaction in which a person is permanently in a state of psychological readiness for criticism, manipulation or the loss of self instead of support. That tension drains the nervous system no less than living under a continuous external threat.

The signs and ways of responding are described in a material by the nationwide mental health programme "How are U?".

How this differs from an ordinary conflict

The key difference is the ability to resolve a problem together: to show respect even in anger, to acknowledge responsibility for one's actions and to be willing to hear the other side. Where that ability exists, a conflict stays a conflict.

Isolated unpleasant episodes happen to everyone — when a partner has had a bad day, is tired or is going through a crisis. Toxicity is spoken of when the situations repeat constantly and form a system.

Red flags

The first is belittling: successes are mocked or put down to luck, while real problems are called nonsense and inventions not worth attention.

The second is gaslighting: phrases that make you doubt your own sanity. "You are imagining it", "that never happened", "you are too sensitive" — all of them shift responsibility for the conflict onto the person who noticed it.

Why this is not "just their character"

Psychologists stress an important distinction: toxicity is a persistent behaviour pattern, not a manifestation of a difficult character or poor humour. Step by step it erodes inner resources and self-confidence regardless of circumstances.

That is why explanations like "he is just like that" do not hold: a difficult character does not cause systematic exhaustion in another person, whereas a persistent behaviour pattern does.